Unpacking the Savage Wisdom of Coco Chanel: “A Woman Should Be Two Things: Who and What She Wants”
Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel didn’t just give us the Little Black Dress, the tweed suit, and a perfume that smells like expensive confidence. She gave us a blueprint for existence.
In a world that loves to put women in neat little boxes—labeled “mother,” “wife,” “bossy,” or “too loud”—Chanel took a drag of her cigarette, looked society dead in the eye, and delivered one of the most iconic lines in history:
“A woman should be two things: who and what she wants.”
It sounds simple, right? Almost like a Pinterest caption. But peel back the layers, and you’ll find a radical manifesto for self-ownership. Let’s dive into what this quote actually means, why it’s still relevant today, and how you can channel your inner Coco without necessarily owning a chateau in France (though that wouldn’t hurt).
The Difference Between “Who” and “What”
Chanel was a master of detail, so we have to assume she didn’t mince words. She made a specific distinction between who you are and what you are.
The “Who”: Your Identity
The “Who” is your character. It is your soul, your quirks, your values, and your personality. For a long time, history tried to dictate who a woman should be: submissive, quiet, pleasant, and decorative.
Chanel wasn’t having any of that. She was fierce, opinionated, difficult, and brilliant. Being “who you want” means dropping the mask. If you are loud, be loud. If you are introverted and prefer books to parties, own that silence. It is the refusal to contort your personality to make others comfortable.
The “What”: Your Vocation and Legacy
The “What” is your role in the world. It’s your career, your hobbies, and your daily grind. In Chanel’s time, the “what” for women was limited. You were a domestic engineer, and that was about it.
Chanel decided she wanted to be a business tycoon. She redefined the silhouette of women’s fashion, liberating bodies from corsets and introducing the comfort of jersey fabric. Being “what you want” is about agency. It means if you want to be a CEO, a stay-at-home mom, a heavy metal drummer, or an astrophysicist, you pursue it with the same ferocity you use to hunt down a sale at Zara.
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Ditching the “Shoulds” of Society
The most important word in Chanel’s quote isn’t “woman”—it’s “wants.”
We are plagued by the “shoulds.”
- “You should be married by 30.”
- “You should smile more.”
- “You should dress your age.”
Coco Chanel built an empire on ignoring “should.” She wore pants when women were expected to wear skirts. She sported a suntan when pale skin was the status symbol. She cut her hair short when long locks were the standard of beauty.
The Art of Not Caring
To be who and what you want, you have to develop a thick skin. You have to become comfortable with being misunderstood. When Chanel started making clothes out of jersey (a fabric previously reserved for men’s underwear), people thought she was insane. She didn’t care. She knew she wanted comfort, and she knew she wanted style.
The lesson? Your desires don’t need a committee vote. You don’t need permission to reinvent yourself.
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Modern Application: How to Live the Quote Today
So, how do we apply this French philosophy to our modern, digital lives? It’s not just about wearing pearls and tweed; it’s about mindset.
1. Audit Your Life
Look at your life right now. How much of it is performed for Instagram, and how much of it is actually for you? Are you posting that hiking photo because you love nature, or because you want people to think you’re “outdoorsy”?
To be who you want, you have to stop performing for an audience that isn’t paying your bills.
2. Define Your Own Success
For Chanel, success was independence. She never married, famously saying, “I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird.”
For you, success might be a happy marriage and five kids. It might be traveling the world solo. It might be running a dog rescue. The “What” is variable. The only requirement is that you chose it, rather than falling into it because it was the path of least resistance.
3. Style is Self-Expression
Chanel believed fashion wasn’t just clothing; it was a language. If you want to be taken seriously, dress how you want to be perceived. If you want to be whimsical, wear the bright colors. If you want to be authoritative, wear the sharp blazer.
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Conclusion: Be Your Own Muse
Coco Chanel wasn’t perfect. She was complex, sometimes controversial, and undeniably stubborn. But she was never boring, and she was never anyone but herself.
The quote “A woman should be two things: who and what she wants” is an invitation. It’s an invitation to look in the mirror and ask the hard questions. Are you living your life, or are you living a script written by your parents, your partner, or society?
Life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes or to live an uncomfortable life. Figure out who you are. Figure out what you want to do. And then, go do it with the confidence of a woman wearing Chanel No. 5.
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