Unpacking Dolly Parton’s Best Advice: “Find Out Who You Are and Do It on Purpose”
If there is a patron saint of authenticity, it is undoubtedly Dolly Parton. She is a woman who stands 5-feet-nothing, wears six-inch heels, and sports hair closer to God than most televangelists. Yet, despite the wigs, the rhinestones, and the “Backwoods Barbie” persona, she is widely regarded as one of the most genuine human beings on the planet.
Dolly once dropped a nugget of wisdom that hits harder than a sad country song at 2 AM: “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
It sounds simple, like a quote you’d find stitched onto a pillow at a discount home goods store. But if you actually sit with it, it’s a radical manifesto for living. It isn’t just about “being yourself”; it’s about aggressive, intentional authenticity. Let’s break down what the Queen of Country really meant and how you can apply it without necessarily buying a bedazzler (though, honestly, don’t rule out the bedazzler).
The Paradox of Dolly: Why “Fake” Can Be Real
To understand the quote, you have to look at the source. Dolly has famously said, “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.” She patterned her look after the “town tramp” in her childhood neighborhood because she thought that woman was beautiful.
Dolly didn’t stumble into her look. She didn’t wake up one day with accidental acrylics and a sudden gravitational pull toward sequins. She found out who she wanted to be—exaggerated, feminine, sparkly—and she did it on purpose.
Most of us spend our lives trying to blend in. We wear the beige cardigan of personality because it’s safe. Dolly’s advice is the antithesis of the beige cardigan.
Amazon Pick: Dream More: Celebrate the Dreamer in You by Dolly Parton
If you want to dive deeper into the mindset of the legend herself, this book is a must-read. It expands on her commencement speech where she discusses these very principles. It’s witty, wise, and unmistakably Dolly.
[Affiliate Link: “Dream More“]
Part One: “Find Out Who You Are” (The Excavation)
This is the hard part. Before you can “do it on purpose,” you have to know what “it” is. Finding out who you are isn’t about taking a Buzzfeed quiz to see which type of garlic bread matches your soul. It requires an excavation.
Society is really good at burying who we are under layers of “shoulds.” You should get a practical job. You should dress your age. You should stop laughing so loud.
To find out who you are, you have to look at what you loved before the world told you what to like.
- Are you a nerd who loves data spreadsheets?
- Are you a creative chaos demon who paints at 3 AM?
- Are you a quiet observer who prefers trees to people?
Dolly knew she was a songwriter and a storyteller. She knew she loved glamour. She identified her core components. You have to identify yours. If you strip away the fear of judgment, what is left? That’s you.
Part Two: “Do It On Purpose” (The Volume Knob)
Here is where the magic happens. Plenty of people know who they are, but they keep it a secret. They are “closeted” creatives, secret singers, or hidden eccentrics.
“Doing it on purpose” means turning the volume knob up to eleven. It means intent.
If you find out you are a writer, you don’t just scribble in a journal and hide it under the mattress. You write. You submit. You call yourself a writer. If you find out you are a leader, you step up. If you find out you’re a comedian, you stop apologizing for your jokes.
When Dolly says “on purpose,” she means you shouldn’t apologize for the things that make you different. Instead, you should double down on them. If people think you’re too loud, and you know you’re loud, be loud on purpose. Suddenly, it’s not a flaw; it’s a brand. It’s a signature.
Amazon Pick: The 52 Lists Project: A Year of Weekly Journaling Inspiration
Need help figuring out who you actually are? This guided journal is fantastic for peeling back the layers. It’s less intimidating than a blank page and helps you categorize your likes, dislikes, and dreams so you can start living them on purpose.
[Affiliate Link: “The 52 Lists Project“]
Why Intentionality Scares People
When you start doing “you” on purpose, it makes people nervous. Why? Because most people are sleepwalking. When you wake up and start walking with direction, you’re going to bump into the sleepwalkers.
Critics made fun of Dolly for decades. They called her bimbo, trashy, and fake. Did she change? No. She made the hair higher. She made the waists tinier. She knew that her look was a trap to catch people’s attention so she could hit them with her songwriting genius.
She controlled the narrative by owning the narrative. When you own your quirks “on purpose,” nobody can use them against you. As Tyrion Lannister (another short, witty icon) once said, “Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.”
How to Apply This to Your “9 to 5”
You might be thinking, “That’s great for a country superstar, but I work in accounting.”
You can still do you on purpose in a cubicle.
- Communication Style: If you are naturally empathetic, be the emotional anchor of your team on purpose. Don’t hide your softness; use it as a strategic asset.
- Presentation: If you love bold colors, wear them. Be the person known for the bright ties or the incredible scarf collection.
- Values: If you value honesty, be radically honest. make it your known trait.
The goal isn’t to be Dolly Parton. The goal is to be the most exaggerated, high-definition version of yourself.
Amazon Pick: What Would Dolly Do? Radio / Karaoke Microphone
Sometimes you just need to sing it out. Whether you are actually a good singer or just an enthusiastic one, owning your voice is key. This fun karaoke mic is a great reminder to be loud and proud.
[Affiliate Link: Wireless Karaoke Microphone]
Conclusion: Put on Your Coat of Many Colors
Dolly Parton’s quote is ultimately a permission slip. It is permission to stop shrinking. It is permission to stop editing yourself to fit into someone else’s manuscript.
Life is too short to be a background character in your own movie. Figure out your character arc. Are you the villain? The hero? The comic relief? Once you know, play the role with everything you’ve got.
So, go look in the mirror. Find that person staring back at you—the weird, wonderful, complex human being you are. And tomorrow, when you walk out the door, do that person on purpose.
Affiliate Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. This helps support the content creation process.
