The Power of a True Friend: Understanding Oprah Winfrey’s Wise Words

Oprah Winfrey is known for her inspiring words and powerful advice. One quote that really sticks with many people is: “When you’re doing something that isn’t working, a friend will tell you.”

Imagine you’re trying to build the tallest tower ever with your building blocks. You stack and stack, but every time you reach a certain height, crash! It all tumbles down. You keep trying the exact same way, expecting a different result. It’s frustrating, right?

That’s what Oprah means by “doing something that isn’t working.” It’s when you keep trying the same thing over and over, but you aren’t getting the result you want, whether it’s in school, with a game, or even just trying to learn a new skill.

What Does “Isn’t Working” Mean?

“Isn’t working” can be lots of things:

• Struggling with Homework: Maybe you keep trying to solve a math problem by adding when you really need to subtract. If you keep adding, you’ll never get the right answer!
• A Bad Habit: Perhaps you’re always late for school because you spend too long picking out clothes in the morning. That habit (“spending too long getting ready”) isn’t working for your goal (“being on time”).
• A Broken Plan: You planned a fun day outside, but it starts pouring rain. Your plan isn’t working anymore.

In these moments, it’s easy to get stubborn and just keep pushing the same way. We might think, “If I just try harder at this wrong thing, it will suddenly work!” But usually, it just leads to more frustration.

The Role of a True Friend

This is where the second part of Oprah’s quote comes in: “a friend will tell you.” A real, true friend isn’t just someone who laughs at your jokes or agrees with everything you say. A true friend cares about you and your success—even if telling you the truth is a little awkward or hard at first.

Think back to your wobbly block tower. If you keep trying the same thing and it keeps falling, a true friend might gently say, “Hey, maybe you should try making a wider base first? That way it won’t fall over.” They aren’t being mean; they are offering helpful advice because they see the problem clearly from the outside. They see the pattern that you are too close to notice.

Having a friend who tells you the truth—even when it stings a little—is one of the biggest gifts you can receive. It’s like having a built-in coach or a helpful guide who wants the best for you.

Honesty Over Comfort

Sometimes, hearing the truth hurts. You might feel embarrassed if your friend points out that you interrupt people too much, or that your project design is flawed. But a good friend tells you because they value your future more than their temporary comfort of just saying “Yes, that’s great!”

Imagine you are working on a big school presentation. You might think your slides look amazing, but your friend might notice that the font is too tiny for the back row to read. They tell you. They are helping you fix a problem before you stand in front of the whole class and risk getting a bad grade because people couldn’t read your points. This act of honesty helps you succeed!

To help you stay organized while you’re learning new things—maybe for school or a hobby—a great tool is a reliable notebook. You can jot down the advice your friends give you so you don’t forget it later! Consider something like this [Amazon Affiliate Link 1: A highly-rated, durable spiral notebook for note-taking]. Writing down the advice helps you remember the “why” behind the change!

Listening is Part of the Friendship Too

Oprah’s quote also teaches us something important about us: we need to be ready to listen when a friend tells us something isn’t working. If your friend gives you great advice, but you just ignore it and keep doing the same thing, then their kindness was wasted.

True friendship is a two-way street. They offer the honest observation, and we offer the respectful attention.

For a sixth grader, life involves a lot of trying out new things—from sports to hobbies to friendships. It’s okay if things don’t work out the first, second, or even tenth time! What matters is having the courage to try, and the good sense to listen to the people who care about you the most. These friends are the ones who help you switch from that wobbly tower design to a strong, stable structure.

Sometimes, when you are learning a complex new skill, having the right tools makes the process much smoother. If you are interested in learning to draw or design, which often requires trying out different techniques until one “works,” having a quality set of colored pencils can make practice more enjoyable! Check out [Amazon Affiliate Link 2: A set of high-quality colored pencils with a wide range of colors]. Having good supplies can sometimes make you more willing to keep practicing, even when you feel like you aren’t getting it right away.

Finding Your Support System

Oprah’s quote encourages you to look around at your circle of friends. Do you have people who tell you the helpful, sometimes hard, truths? Cherish those people! They are helping you grow into the best version of yourself by pointing out the things that are holding you back.

If you realize you don’t have many friends who give you honest feedback, it might be a good time to start being a better friend to others—offering genuine support—and that often attracts genuine support back to you. Being kind and honest is the foundation of a strong friendship.

Finally, remember that sometimes “what isn’t working” is simply needing a break! Even the smartest people need to recharge. If you’ve been trying too hard, sometimes the best advice is to step away, clear your head, and come back fresh. A fun way to mentally reset without screen time is through puzzles. Maybe try [Amazon Affiliate Link 3: A challenging 500-piece jigsaw puzzle] to engage your brain in a different way.

Oprah’s wisdom is a reminder that true friendship involves both loyalty and courageous honesty—the perfect combination for helping each other succeed.

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