Seize the Helm: Understanding Sheryl Sandberg’s “Do Not Wait for Permission to Lead”
Leadership isn’t just for grown-ups with fancy titles. It’s about taking initiative, helping others, and making things better right where you are. One powerful voice on this topic is Sheryl Sandberg, the former COO of Meta (formerly Facebook), who once said: “Do not wait for permission to lead.”
What does this really mean, especially for someone who might be in middle school, or perhaps just starting out in a new job or project? Let’s break down this inspiring quote.
The Simple Meaning: You Don’t Need a Crown to Be a Leader
Imagine your classroom is doing a group project. Maybe nobody has been officially assigned as the “leader.” If you see that the group is getting disorganized, you don’t have to raise your hand and ask the teacher, “May I please be the leader?” Instead, you could simply say, “Hey everyone, let’s divide these tasks so we can finish faster!” That’s leading!
This quote means: If you see something that needs doing, and you know how to help or have an idea to make things better, just do it. You don’t need an adult, a special badge, or an official invitation to step up. Leading is an action, not a title.
Think about being on a sports team. If a teammate falls down, do you wait for the coach to tell you to help them up? Of course not! You run over and help. That moment of helping is leadership in action.
Why Waiting is a Wasted Opportunity
Waiting for permission often means waiting forever. Why?
- People are Busy: The adults or bosses in charge are often juggling many things. They might not see the small problem you’ve noticed, or they might be too busy to think about appointing a leader for every single little task.
- It Slows Things Down: Every moment spent asking, “Can I do this?” is a moment not spent actually doing it. If a problem exists, the sooner someone takes the initiative, the sooner the problem gets fixed.
- You Miss Out on Learning: True leadership skills—like organizing, motivating others, and problem-solving—are learned by doing, not by reading a job description. If you always wait to be told what to do, you aren’t practicing the skills you need for bigger challenges later on.
If you’re looking to build those skills now, perhaps an organizational tool can help you keep track of your brilliant ideas and the steps needed to execute them.
⭐ Recommended Tool for Organization: A sturdy, high-quality notebook and pen set is perfect for jotting down plans and next steps the moment inspiration strikes. Check out the Moleskine Classic Notebook, Large, Ruled on Amazon.

Leading From Where You Are
Sheryl Sandberg’s message is powerful because it applies to every position. You don’t have to be the captain of the debate team or the class president to lead.
- Leading in Your Personal Life: Maybe you see your younger sibling struggling with reading. You could offer to read with them every night. You are leading by setting an example of helpfulness and dedication.
- Leading in a Project: If you are assigned to work with a partner and you realize your partner is shy, you can take the lead on presenting the final part, giving them a quieter role, like researching or designing the slides. You’re leading by adapting to the team’s needs.
This type of leadership builds confidence. When you act without needing a “go-ahead,” you prove to yourself that you are capable. This self-belief is perhaps the most important thing a leader can possess.
Overcoming the Fear of “Getting It Wrong”
One of the biggest reasons people wait for permission is the fear of messing up. What if I try to organize the study group and everyone hates my plan? That fear is real, but Sandberg’s quote encourages us to try anyway, understanding that even mistakes are part of the learning process.
When you take the initiative, you are showing courage. The world needs people who are willing to be the first ones to try something new. It’s important to be thoughtful, of course. Don’t just rush in; take a moment to think about the best approach.
To help you think through your ideas strategically before you launch them, a good reference book can be invaluable.
💡 Recommended Reading: To learn more about building confidence and taking action, consider “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth. This book explores why sticking with your goals, even when it’s hard or you feel like an outsider, is key to success.
Conclusion: Your Leadership Journey Starts Now
“Do not wait for permission to lead” is a call to action for everyone, regardless of age or current role. It’s about recognizing the needs around you and having the courage to meet those needs yourself. Whether it’s organizing a messy drawer, helping a friend, or starting a new club at school, the power to make a positive impact is in your hands right now. Don’t wait for someone to hand you the map; start drawing the trail yourself!
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