Being There is More Important Than Being Perfect: Understanding Brené Brown’s Powerful Quote
Have you ever worried so much about getting something exactly right that you ended up not doing it at all? Maybe it was a drawing, a school presentation, or even just telling a joke. That feeling, that little voice saying, “This isn’t good enough!” is the voice of perfectionism.
The amazing storyteller and researcher, Brené Brown, who studies things like courage and vulnerability, has a wonderful quote that helps us push that voice aside: “We do not need to be perfect, we need to be present.”
Let’s break down what this means, using examples you might see every day in your life.
What is “Perfect”? (Hint: It’s Not Real!)
Imagine you’re trying to build the coolest LEGO spaceship ever. You might look at a picture in the instruction book or see a model online and think, “Mine has to look exactly like that.” That’s the idea of perfection. But here’s a secret: perfect doesn’t really exist, especially when it comes to being a person!
If you wait until every single LEGO piece is in the exact right spot, or until your drawing has absolutely no stray lines, you might never actually finish or play with your spaceship. The pursuit of perfect often keeps us stuck. It makes us afraid to try something new because we fear failing or looking silly.
Brené Brown is saying that chasing this impossible, flawless idea of “perfect” isn’t what really matters in life.
What Does “Be Present” Really Mean?
“Being present” is like turning on all your senses and focusing on the now. It means paying attention to what is happening right this second, instead of worrying about what might happen later or what should have happened before.
Think about playing a game with your friends. If you’re worried that you’re not the best player or that you might lose, you won’t really be having fun. You’re not present in the game! But if you focus on the ball, your teammates, and the feeling of running and laughing, you are present. Even if your team loses, you enjoyed the moment.
Being present is about showing up for life, even when you feel a little messy or unsure.
A Great Tool for Staying Present
Sometimes, when our minds are racing with worries about being perfect, a little help can bring us back to the moment. Tools like a fidget spinner or a textured stress ball can be surprisingly useful. They give your hands something simple to do, which helps calm your brain down so you can focus on what’s in front of you. Check out this highly-rated [Amazon Affiliate Product Link: Fidget Spinner] for a simple way to anchor yourself to the present moment when your thoughts start drifting toward perfectionism.
Why Being Present Matters More
Being present allows for three really important things that perfection never will:
1. Connection: When you are present, you actually listen to your teacher, your parent, or your friend. You see their face, you hear the tone of their voice. If you are constantly worrying about whether your answer in class is “perfect,” you might miss the next question or forget to look at the person talking to you. True friendship and learning happen in the moments we share, not in the flawless way we present ourselves.
2. Learning and Growing: Mistakes are how we learn! If you try out for a play and forget a line, that’s not perfect. But if you can be present enough to laugh it off, take a breath, and find your place again, you’ve actually learned a lot about staying calm under pressure. Perfection says, “Don’t make a mistake!” Presence says, “I made a mistake, and I’m still here and ready for the next part.”
3. Enjoyment: Life is a series of moments strung together. If you spend all your time trying to make each moment perfect, you miss the joy of the moment itself. Being present lets you taste the deliciousness of your ice cream, feel the warmth of the sun, or enjoy the silly inside joke you just shared.
Bringing Presence to Your Projects
It’s easy to say, but how do you do it? If you have a big project, like writing a report, try this: don’t think about the final grade (the “perfect” outcome). Just focus on the first step: “I will write a title,” or “I will find three good facts.” That is being present with the task at hand.
For projects that require focus, sometimes having the right atmosphere helps. Maybe it’s having a cozy spot to work or using a great notebook. A high-quality, durable journal like this [Amazon Affiliate Product Link: Premium Lined Journal] can be a great way to capture your thoughts as they come, without worrying if the handwriting is perfect yet. The goal is to capture the idea, not make it flawless on the first try.
Let Go of the “What Ifs”
Worrying about perfection is often worrying about the future: “What if they laugh?” “What if I fail?” Being present is the opposite. It pulls you back to where you are safe and capable right now. You are capable of listening right now. You are capable of taking the next breath right now. You are capable of trying again right now.
Brené Brown’s quote isn’t telling you to be sloppy or lazy. It’s telling you to put your energy into showing up—into being truly involved in your life—rather than wasting all your energy on trying to look flawless while you’re doing it.
A Final Thought on Showing Up
Think about your favorite teachers or role models. Are they perfect? Probably not! But you respect them because they are real, they try hard, and they are engaged with you. They are present.
To help you keep this idea close, maybe having a small, visual reminder can help. A simple piece of art or a small trinket on your desk can serve as a quick cue to focus on the now. Consider a small, calming desk accessory, like this lovely [Amazon Affiliate Product Link: Decorative Zen Garden Kit], which encourages slow, mindful presence.
The world doesn’t need a perfect you. It needs the real, engaged, and present you. Go out there and show up!
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